10 Things We Wish We Knew Before Traveling as a Gay Couple
Traveling as a gay couple is an adventure, but it comes with unique challenges. From hotel bookings to safety tips, here are 10 things we wish we had known before we started exploring the world together.
The Reality of Gay Couple Travel
Traveling the world as a couple is one of our greatest joys. It’s a privilege to be able to explore the world with someone you love and, trust us, there’s never a dull moment (if you’re in a traveling gay couple, you get it!) but at the same time, there are certain things we had to learn about same-sex travel that we had no idea about. And why would we? After all there is no handy book that gives you all the right answers.
We’ve had moments where checking into a hotel felt awkward, where people assumed we were just friends, and where we had to adjust our public behavior depending on the country we were in. It’s not ideal, but it’s the reality of gay travel.
Would we change a thing? Absolutely not. But if we could go back in time and give ourselves some advice, here’s what we’d say.
📩 Before we dive in, if you’re planning a trip soon, make sure to grab our free Gay Travel Safety Guide—packed with essential tips for traveling smart and safe!
👉 Click here to download it!
1. Not Every "Gay-Friendly" Country Feels Safe
There’s a big difference between gay rights on paper and what it’s like to exist as a gay couple in real life. For example, Mexico has legalized same-sex marriage, and cities like Mexico City and Puerto Vallarta are incredibly gay-friendly but in smaller towns, attitudes can be more conservative, and certain areas don’t feel as welcoming. Same goes for the United States, UK and so many other countries that are deemed ‘gay-friendly.’ Just because their laws don’t make same-sex activity illegal, doesn’t mean the sentiment is automatically accepting.
On the flip side, and we see this a lot, some countries that don’t legally recognize same-sex marriage feel accepting and safe for us a both gay travelers and a gay couple. Japan for example.
So what we’ve learned is that laws don’t always dictate culture, so always research real traveler experiences before booking your trip. And just be open to the fact that this will happen and your experience might be different than other gay travelers, and that’s okay. That’s the nature of travel.
2. Booking Hotels as a Gay Couple Can Be… Interesting
Being that we’re from two seemingly progressive countries, we never thought twice about booking a hotel room together. We never thought about requesting two beds because the perception in whatever country will be troubling. Even in gay-friendly destinations, some hotels still operate with outdated assumptions. We’ve had moments where hotel staff hesitated before handing over the key or awkwardly asked, "Would you like two beds?"
How do we avoid this? Well, if we know the country is fairly progressive, we just book a room with one bed and it’s never been an issue. If we know the country isn’t as gay-friendly or sentiment towards the LGBTQ+ community is not as open, then we 1) book a room with twin beds (better safe than sorry) or 2) always, and we mean ALWAYS, read hotel reviews and look for mentions of gay travelers. If we’re unsure about a hotel, we keep searching or go for a brand-name hotel. We’ve notice that they tend to have Western hospitality, which makes it easier for gay travelers. Now, if available, we look on Misterb&b (a gay-friendly alternative to Airbnb) for hotels.
3. Being Discreet Isn’t Always About Fear—It’s About Strategy
There’s a misconception that "acting straight" while traveling is giving in to oppression. But in some places, blending in isn’t about shame—it’s about smart travel strategy. We’ve done this a lot, unfortunately, presenting or being seen as ‘friends’ instead of a gay couple. And we’ve been okay with it because we know it’s temporary and we’re aware that we must respect local customs and laws in some of the countries we choose to visit. For example, in Morocco, PDA (even for straight couples) is rare. Not holding hands wasn’t about hiding—it was about respecting local norms.
Now, this doesn’t mean that we will happily visit any country. Some countries are off limits for us, due to their extreme outlook on the gay community. For us it’s about choosing between our personal comfort and seeing the world. Most of the time we strick a good balance and other times we reject the idea of visiting said country because it’s too risky. You have to make that choice yourself but remember: Blending in is a choice that doesn’t necessarily mean giving into oppression. But if that’s what it feels like for you, don’t visit that country.
4. Know Your ‘Cover’ Story at Immigration
One of the things we never thought about was immigration and the story we would tell in case we were questioned. It just never came to mind, until we read stories (although rare) during our research about how some gay couples were questioned and they didn’t know what to say. Although it’s very rare — it’s never happened to us — we thought it’d be smart to have our ‘story’ in place for the small chance it happened.
We don’t mean to instill any fear because, again, this rarely happens but we just want you to be prepared. Assess the situation, know when it’s safe to go up to immigration together or when it’s best to go into separate lines. The majority of officers don’t give a crap. They just care if you’ll overstay your welcome, but some might be more intrusive and that’s the reality. If they suspect you’re a couple, they might ask where you’re staying, how you know each other, or why you’re traveling together. Have your ‘cover’ story.
5. Gay Nightlife Isn’t Always What You Expect
If experiencing the nightlife is your thing, then keep in mind that not every gay-friendly city has a huge LGBTQ+ nightlife scene and some destinations with no legal protections have thriving underground scenes.
For example:
✔ Berlin & Bangkok? Insane gay nightlife.
✔ Mexico City? Super diverse scene.
✔ Tokyo? Small but vibrant.
✔ Dubai or Morocco? Zero public gay bars, but private house parties exist.
Personally, we don’t often travel to experience the gay nightlife. It’s nice if it’s there but we don’t go out of our way to find it. We’re okay with cocktail bars that simply allow us to be together without watching us like hawks. We’ve experienced most gay nightlife, but we’re no experts so please always do your research before you go and outweigh the pros and cons, if you’re in a certain country that might be more underground scene than anything. If you have any questions, however, let us know!
6. Apps Like Grindr & Tinder Can Be Risky Abroad
This is more for our single or open-relationship brothers and sisters, as we don’t use dating apps, but we have researched enough to know that you should be very, very weary to use them in certain countries. Some governments actively monitor dating apps to entrap gay people, which is terrifying and awful but that’s the reality. We visited Egypt in 2022 and it was lovely, but we do know that Egypt’s government is knowing for doing this, along with other surrounding countries. As we say, safety first! But if you still want to hopefully connect with gay locals, then make sure you:
✔ Use a VPN when accessing apps in restrictive countries.
✔ If meeting someone, do it in a public place first.
✔ Research if the app has been used for entrapment before using it.
7. Some Locals Will Be Extra Curious About You
When you’re from two progressive countries, you automatically assume everyone has met or at least seen one gay person in their lifetime. But that’s not the case for most people in certain countries, so inherently if they don’t assume your friends, they will be curious about you, even if you’re total strangers.
We’ve had locals ask if we’re friends or business partners; stare at us—not in a rude way, just out of curiosity; or even make playful comments when they suspect we’re a couple. When we were in Marrakech, we had a shop owner cat-call us saying something like ‘come shop, sexies’ (hilarious right?). But it was harmless and we just acted like we didn’t hear anything because we didn’t want to entertain it further. So keep this in mind, it might be uncomfortable but know that most of the time, it’s harmless and comes from genuine curiosity.
8. Even Gay-Friendly Countries Have Unsafe Areas
Just because a country has legal gay rights doesn’t mean every neighborhood is safe and you must practice with caution. Bigger cities always tend to be fine, but don’t expect the same level of openness if you’re traveling to the outskirts of town, etc. For example, Barcelona and Paris are extremely open cities, but Pride celebrations and all, but they still report gay hate crimes every now and again. We don’t want you to live in fear, as we’ve said, but keep this mind.
✔ How to stay safe:
Research safe neighborhoods before booking accommodations.
Stay aware of your surroundings at night.
9. Always Have a Backup Plan in Case Things Go South
We are so bad about this, like truly bad, but we’re trying to get better about having a backup plan should things go array. You just never know what can happen, so it’s better to be safe than sorry. Not to mention, Omie has anxiety so he’s always five steps ahead anyway haha. Some of the things we recommend is:
✔ Travel insurance is a MUST for gay travelers.
✔ Always keep emergency contacts & digital copies of passports.
✔ Know where your country’s embassy is—just in case.
This is basic travel safety, but for gay travelers, having an exit strategy can be even more crucial.
10. Gay Travel Groups & Forums Are GOLD
Some of the best advice won’t come from Google—it’ll come from other gay travelers. We can’t tell you how helpful the tips we’ve read on Facebook groups or Reddit have been. They have changed most of our itineraries, or even trips — opting to go to a country for another, based on reviews and real-life accounts.
Before visiting a new destination, we always Google search to find gay-centric articles, read reviews or posts from Facebook gay travel groups and Reddit forums, and even check out Instagram hashtags. It’s silly but helps!
💡 Want to feel more confident on your next trip? Download our free LGBTQ+ Travel Safety Guide!
Final Thoughts: Traveling Smart as a Gay Couple
Traveling as a gay couple is one of the best things we do together. It’s empowering, exciting, and filled with unforgettable experiences. Some destinations require extra caution, but we should never feel like we can’t explore the world. We hope this helps you, even if you’re just a gay traveler visiting a new country with friends or a seasoned gay couple.
We’d love to hear from you! Have you had any interesting experiences traveling as an LGBTQ+ couple? Drop a comment below!
